Bert the Beta

DO NOT ever tell a Kalon that she cannot have something! (Without substantial reasoning.) If it is something that's just a phase chances are she KNOWS she's not getting it. She's intelligent enough to figure it out herself. She doesn't need a man's two cents. If a boytoy has the balls to tell a Kalon, "no" then he can expect her to come home with whatever she was forbidden to get.

I went through pet phases. I wanted a Chihuahua, Boxer, then Shepherd. In the current situation I had a governor (my parents) who didn't allow these types of pets in their home. So I then decided I wanted a Beta. You know, the pretty little fishies that come in a cup. Yea, that's them. The Lesson had told me, "No. I didn't need it." That very next weekend I made a special trip to the nearest Wal-Mart where I came home with Bert and all the fixin's. Sadly Bert didn't live three months before the bastard croaked when I cleaned his bowl. He'd been swimming in damn algae for two months and an inch of water.

Just like a damn man.

The Lesson was right. (That didn't happen often.)

The Lesson

I was a hopeless romantic believing in crap like "Worth the Wait" and things like so in grade school. Boys have a tendency to NOT believe in that crap. Now don't get me wrong I was just as weak as every boy in my grade, I want to Skittle too. It was no surprise when The Lesson came along, I was swept off my feet.

Now is when I'd like to stop and let all of you know: The Lesson made me a Kalon. He taught me life lessons about men and how I WILL be treated according to MY law. Some of you men are confused, treating your girlfriend like YOU feel. A Kalon doesn't stand for this kind of crap so if you don't like it. Pack your things and get out because chances are we were already making judgements about your wonderful self.

How I met The Lesson should have been my first clue not to mention there were MANY other clues to my stupidity throughout the years. He was trying to date my best friend. This is how he and I became friends. I knew he had incredibly amazingly hot hot hot friends i was more than willing to date.

Why not do this genuine favor for him?

Well my bestie started dating his bestie and it all went to hell and a hand basket. The Lesson and a Kalon were dating, not Skittling, but dating.

Not like other girls

I've been told by every serious boytoy that, "You're just not like other girls." The first time I had a boytoy tell me this my first thought was, "Aw, that's sweet. Now kiss me." I started hearing this much more after highschool. I had a high school sweetheart that created me in a sense. I've been a Kalon ever since then. From driving a truck, having German Shepherds and Rottweilers to shooting my 9mm on a regular basis. A boytoy is no necessity but once I fall in love you better tie your ass in because its going to be one hell of a ride. I'm too busy to chase you so don't expect it.

Wait a minuet, if a Kalon is having to do the chasing she doesn't stay around long enough for you to even begin to experience her full throttle. She will leave you rubbing your ass wondering where and the hell she's gone. She'll live by "love 'em and leave 'em". Com'on, nobody said this would be easy!

You'll hear crude and possibly vulgar posts and not so crude posts. But this is the many stories about dating a Kalon. Good, bad, and ugly she's a hell of a ride. So tie your ass in and hold on for the ride because she's going full throttle!