Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Warning Label

Most everything, these days, comes with some type of warning label. May it be something as big as a vehicle to as small as a hot wheel. It comes with a warning label. So, it should be no surprise that a-Kalon comes with a warning label.

Right? She doesn't.

No female in this world comes with a damn warning label. Only the generalization that boytoys have given women of this world. A-Kalon is so stupidly placed into this category by a boytoy who hasn't the slightest clue to what he's persueing until she's, we quote, "eaten your soul".

You can't treat her last your last thing you kept around mainly because YOU were keeping HER. A-Kalon's choosing to keep you around buddy. You wanna dilly-dally around and lose her, hey, that's your own business. Don't let us tell you otherwise because a-Kalon knows better, SHE keeps better. Unfortunately, you are NOT as amazing as you may seem to think, and a-Kalon has more power than you'd like to admit.

Sad day. We know.

A-Kalon is NOT other girls. We aren't sure how many times its gonna take. If you've got to repeat it or say it with us a loud multiple times. But, boytoy, you better start figuring it out, in a HURRAY!

She makes mean look nice. And hateful, oh we are so sorry she's hateful. But somebody along the way taught her to be that way. Clearly, you've done something to teach her she needs to be hateful to you. Sometimes she's hateful because all else has failed. She's tried nice and sweet. She's tried not saying a word. She probably even tried talking it out. This just means you were too stupid to see the WARNING SIGNS. Which also, in turn, tells us you screwed up early buddy.

Does this mean you've ruined it? Probably. We can't know for sure.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Attn: Boytoys

Attn: All Boytoys

I found this while reading Glamour magazine. They had an article on Things to Put You in a Good Mood Fast... I was in desperate need of this due to many factors in my life. Elmer Fudd being one of them. Poor stupid boytoy. Now with my current, situations, this joke was perfect.

A married couple in their early sixties were celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary in a romantic restaurant. Suddenly, a fairy godmother appeared. She said, " For being such an exemplary married couple, I will grant you each a wish." The wife answered, "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." The fairy waved her magic wand and poof!- two tickets for the Queen Mary 2 appeared. The husband thought for a moment, and then said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!- the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairy godmothers are female.

haha!

Ok so in honor of Valentine's Day and my civil duty as a-Kalon I must throw a boytoy a bone.

Boytoy's Bone